why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i may or may not be watching the land before time
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
