drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
