There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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