My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
