Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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