let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
