you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
