ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
