Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
