This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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