What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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