hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
