I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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