omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
