You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
