I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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