Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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