just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
