My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
