let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
