I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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