he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
