I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize
