after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
