porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
