so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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