Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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