You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
