last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
