i would punch a child for taco bell
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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