im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
