forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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