You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
