all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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