I want to make a zoo with you.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
