tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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