Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
