I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
