its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
