If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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