Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
