i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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