He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize