Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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