Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if only i could text you this smell
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
