I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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