At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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