do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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