eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
