her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
