i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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