just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
