Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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