K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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