No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
