Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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