Whod you bang
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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