I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
