Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
