yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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